It's a matter of time before this case will happen to you. So whatever it is, keep it to yourself if something happens in the company, or personal comments about someone in the company. I warned you...or else...
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Life and times of a retired underground car freak...
To Someone who wants me to repost this into blogspot... here you go. It's a 2 year old blog anyway...hope it will enlighten you further to the bright side... :P And thanks for your remarks in your blog :) i really did not know i really made a big impact just by observation hehe :P
Here you go.
Say there is someone you feel totally comfortable with, can identify with in every way, connect with mentally and emotionally, you can talk with him about anything, he cares for you, you care for him etc. Yet you absolutely cannot imagine yourself having sex with him…
While another guy, who isn’t nearly as close to you in that sense. But each time he is around, you feel that... spark, that not-entirely-innocent tingle, either based on his looks/attitude/charisma/sexy butt/whatever personally catches your attention in a man…and make you skip a heartbeat sometimes when he smiles at you?
So, is the first guy someone you have a platonic friendship with, and the second someone whom you would want to have a relationship with? Or is the first someone you would want to have a relationship with, and the second merely eye-candy, someone you lust over but that’s about it?
Well, I have rambled about this before to my gal friends, guy friends, ex girlfriends, and old uncle with lots of Chinese Imported Girlfriends, and came to some conclusions that some people are better off as friends and some as lovers. Guys, especially those who are still a blur sotong, TAKE NOTE!
I also feel that, most guys I know fell into these 4 categories…
1. Those who are friends and evolved into relationship because you suddenly cared and love them more than ever, and you cant stop the feeling as it comes naturally for both of you.
2. Those who are casual friends and immediately felt an attraction/feeling with each other. You know, sparks fly, fireworks in the air…those things la
3. Those who just met, but immediately felt a connection between the two. Example, both have same interest, same opinion, and then in an hour or two, starts talking about their life and opinions.
4. Those who just met, but felt a connection later on…this one…normal la.. hehe
Its also one of the things that i find it dumbstruck too. There are quite a number of reasons out there (if you analyse it logically and not emotionally) and characteristics which some deem more suitable for platonic friendship and some for relationship/lust/flings/affairs.
What’s strange is, when u see a set of factors/characteristic working as the base of attraction for someone they like, but it does not become the base for another person (same girl playing the tricks and strategies on a different guy)
When there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry. U can't fake a spark or make it happen. You can’t force yourself to be in the same wavelength as her. There's not enough information about the second guy to make a comparison, however the second guy definitely has higher chances as sexual attraction is very important. If you are not attracted to someone, no matter how nice he is, it just won't happen. Guys, you can actually pack up and leave if she say she cant imagine having a relationship with you. But…to some sesat/blur sotong/indecisive/dunno who to choose gals, it doesn't mean he just packs up and goes, the gal will give it some time and see how first… to see if she really can see a future with him or not. BUT, if really cannot, really cannot lor..what to do..too bad so sad...hahahhahahaha… LOL…guys, this will be a very testing time for you. Then, it is up to you whether to continue pursuing her, or really pack up, leave and never come back (most important. DO NOT GO BACK TO WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN HURT BEFORE)
Tough eh to understand women? Hehe…
Well, basically there are several things required to 'connect' with a person in a special way, right? Personally, I think these are the three for me:
1. Mental connection. Understanding her completely and having basically the same mindsets and thinking along the same 'wavelength', accepting each other as we are without pretense, sharing our deepest darkest thoughts, etc… well the least I need from her is an unbreakable connection of same wavelengths and non-stop communication without thinking for a second, what should I talk about next? It should be freehand which we are able to talk about anything under the sun.
2. Emotional dependence aka romance/commitment. That feeling of happiness whenever you're with her (NOT sexual related), waiting for her calls or SMS, keeping and re-reading her messages over and over, thinking of her damn fucking lot that it almost takes most of your day dreaming time, willing to sacrifice to help her or make her happy, to happily help her out and give her a hand when she’s stuck with her work/assignments/studies. And…to become the so called pizza delivery boy if she’s hungry and got the urge to eat this la that la…or go buy some of her favourite cookies or snacks.
3. Sexual attraction aka lust. Well.. no need to describe that lah. But there’s another one argument. Some will think that in order to be serious in a relationship, I got friends who says that if you really like her, sex should not be in one of your imaginations. In fact, I got a friend who says that sex is the least in his mind when he’s going after a particular gal. YES, TRUE, I agree. But…don’t you think that if you say so, it will become just a platonic friend and wont go more than that remember? ( READ MY FIRST PARAGRAPH! ) Dumb ass… LOL…
I’m cruel especially to the fellas who whine to me about relationships. So to all who are still single, and being pursued or pursuing someone you like, think about it. i personally partly agree with this statement which is quite true, but the fact remains that sometimes the love is pure, you wont imagine sex as one of the factors, but the sad fact remains that there is a very thin line bordering love and lust. if you think about imagining how sex will shoot through the roof and over the moon with the other half, it's lust. If you never think that sex will play an important role in your relationship, and sometimes you think having sex with your other half goes with happy times, then it's somewhat true love lor. but if you can never imagine having sex with her no matter what, and the thought of it sickens you, sorry lah...51% of the chances are that you will never hit it off with her. BUT, why i say 51% only?
The reason is that i have known quite a number of friends that has been emotionally hurt by their ex boyfriends. The thought of sex really sickens her especially when she thinks about how her ex treated her. Even if she has a new relationship, the past continues to haunt her. Yes, he's amazing and much better than the bastard but she will back off on the intimacy because of the bad past and she will need time to heal her broken confidence. I do agree sex plays a part of the relationship, but then i have exes who practises abstinence before marriage. That's cool with me...there's other ways. =)
So to all who are pursuing someone whether a gal or a boy or same sex, remember this. If you really cant imagine being intimate (i think this is the best phrase to describe it) with the person who is pursuing you, back off and be frank with them. If you are unsure, simple. Write down in a piece of paper, the name of the person who first came into your mind when:
you need help on your work
you want to go out with on a date for any events
you want to tell your happy or sad moments
you're angry and want to vent out on someone
when you wake up
before you sleep
when you see something nice on the telly, shopping complex, whatever nice and you want to share with a person...
Hehe..i guess that's all for now. Until the next time, best wishes to your family, your health and your life. =)
The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others.
Kindness trumps greed: it asks for sharing. Kindness trumps fear: it calls forth gratefulness and love. Kindness trumps even stupidity, for with sharing and love, one learns.
I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they've had the same argument hundreds of times.
Do not depend on the hope of results. You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself. You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people. In the end, it is the reality of personal relationship that saves everything.
But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for.
Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus.
You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.
In reality, in love there is a permanent suffering which joy neutralizes, renders virtual, delays, but which can at any moment become what it would have become long earlier if one had not obtained what one wanted, atrocious.
To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light.
Dear god...why do i feel so depressed, moody and gloomy? Tell me, the end is nigh?
![]() | Eh, it's still alive! Muahahahah | for everyone |
![]() | Progress Report... | for everyone |
God...it's the time of the month again! | for everyone |
For the past few years, right after CNY, there will be the one dreaded day when every male human being in love or in a relationship will scramble, scatter, and stressed themselves on this very day to please their partner. The day when if it all fails, or if it screwed up, there will be a 99.995% chance that your partner will be pissed off, angry, went on their early PMS on you, ignores you and the worse of them...NOT TODAY, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD. hee hee....yeah...it's the 14th of February day...Valentine's.
Gosh...back when i was with my ex, this day is the most important day to somehow show her how you feel about her, to express your love for her, and the day where she is the queen and you are the servant who is trying your best to grant almost everything she wishes (of course la...if she say she want you to buy her an island...that's impossible la...if for me i will buy her a "thousand island"....if you dont know what the hell i am saying, go to the nearest supermarket and look for Thousand Island Salad dressing... MUaAahahahAHAHAHAHAHaHa...) the day when i have to figure out the right gift to buy for her, the right card to give her, the right restaurants, the nice place to sightseeing...you know...the works. All the usual thoughts at work and at family and friends will be thrown out of the window and instead concentrate on one single thing you have to do for that day only, to please your significant other. =)
As for me now, single as ever (or should i say as usual), i find this very disturbing to us singles. Everywhere up to the day of Valentine's, there are flowers, couples, special promotions, you know...the works. When you're single, all your sensory strength will stray towards the couples, the ones in love, the "wish i was with someone today" mushy feeling until the next morning when you wake up and thanked god that it's over. if you decide to go out on this thursday (yeah, it falls on 14th Feb) alone, your sensory system will go overtime. It might overload and burn your brain and you left yourself into a meltdown. There was a statistic where i read that more people are admitted into the mental ward in hospitals all over the world on the 14th of Feb. NO LA I MADE THIS UP ONLY...AHHAHAHAHHA....
Everywhere you go, you will, i repeat, you will feel sooooo out of place as soon as you looked around. Everywhere you go you will be surrounded by couples la, holding hands here and there, hugging la, kissing la...the whole PDAs (Public Displays of Affection) running around. Out of 10 couples you see out there, 7 of them will have a bunch of flowers at their arms, or maybe a teddy bear or two....aww....somehow or rather, they are sort of welded together for that day...the hands of either person might be welded at the arms, or the waist...the ass...and the least affected, the hands la...ok la that one...hehehhe...
Those nice nice restaurants will be fully booked, the cinemas too, the car parks, and you will see those usual romantic spots in kl will be packed with couples.
Where can you go? hide at home? Damn...wont that be boring? Cannot...it can ruin your diet...it can ruin your mind...must come out one! hee hee =P
Here's a few tips. Get a group of your friends to hang out on that day. Make sure they do not have plans too or you will be FFKed...hahahha...go for a drink, dinner, hang out or even dance out at a club. Just try not to be alone or you might end up at home watching While Harry Met Sally on your telly in your room, chomping away chocolates or french fries, with the tissue box half empty wiping off your tears and mucus...EEEEEEeeeeeyeeerr!!! hahahahahahah
Or you can drown yourself at work. Work overtime. maybe till around 12am when everyone's mostly at some hotel at some room somewhere banging their partners. LOL
If you love your family, you can even bring all of them out for a nice dinner outside...go shopping for groceries at Tesco ke Carrefour ke...not bad also wat.
or...my plan for this Thursday? Get a group of single mates around, meet up in a club somewhere in KL, start happy hour at around 4.30 or 5pm and get myself drunk by 9pm. by that time i might fall asleep at the chair, or maybe my evil twin brother who appears usually when i'm drunk will borrow my mind and soul and start flirting with some gal sitting at our next table hopefully or worst out of worst at the gal selling cigarettes or liquor...and by the time you go home you will be too drunk and too busy to think about the couples, the ex, the one who rejected you or the one who kept you at the freezer and left you clueless. Good idea.
I wonder at myself all the time. Why this...Couple's day is so influential to us singles? why we can survive most of the time without a partner only to be beaten by the festive....no no...romantic moods coming up to this dreaded day? Why when we are so happy being single starts to think haywire and think so negatively and hope that someone somehow and someday will steal our hearts away and wished you are one of them, happily celebrating this day together with your loved ones?
Actually, loved ones dosent mean your partner only. It's with anyone you love. Anyone you love. Family also can, with colleagues also can, with your group of friends also can. Just dont bring your best friend along, unless you made it clear to him or her. hehehhehehehehe....
It's too commercialized. It's too hyped up. It's absurd. why go out on a single day when every restaurants will choose this day to create some packages where you cant figure out the exact amount and charges some up the klcc roof for just a simple 5 course dinner? or cinema packages that cost hundreds plus a VIP seating for a bloody movie? arent movies only cost rm 10 a person? or wherever you go it seems it's packed with every couple on the planet? or why everywhere you see the seating's rearranged to couples' seating?
argh....and the list goes on. lucky the mamak stalls never create a lover's package of 2 teh tarik, 2 roti canai and 2 bananas or popadum at the special price of RM9.99. hahahhahaah that will be the day...LOL maybe the mamak fellas will sing a tamil or hindustan tune at an extra rm 2.99...which includes change of clothing, with a group of them dancing and singing and twirling around the pillars of the shops (no trees big enough wat like you see in the movies) ... gosh...i cant stop laughing...hahhaha
One of my exes told me before many years ago when i was still studying, and have not much budget for a great valentine's day outing or a nice gift for her tole me this: "It's not only about the day where you shower me will all your love. If that is the way, i would rather wish that everyday is Valentine's Day and you shower me with your love and care everyday, day and night, no matter what day it is..." =)
To be honest, i'm just venting out my frustration today. Been sick since the first day of CNY, so did not go anywhere much. Been a boring CNY sticking out at my room watching astro most of the time i am awake. One year later i might end up laughing my ass off at this blog. One year later i might have someone...who knows...
NO NO NO NO NO...here it goes again!!!! ARGHHHHH!H!!!!!!!!!
*runs to the nearest wall to bang my head on*