To Someone who wants me to repost this into blogspot... here you go. It's a 2 year old blog anyway...hope it will enlighten you further to the bright side... :P And thanks for your remarks in your blog :) i really did not know i really made a big impact just by observation hehe :P
Here you go.
Say there is someone you feel totally comfortable with, can identify with in every way, connect with mentally and emotionally, you can talk with him about anything, he cares for you, you care for him etc. Yet you absolutely cannot imagine yourself having sex with him…
While another guy, who isn’t nearly as close to you in that sense. But each time he is around, you feel that... spark, that not-entirely-innocent tingle, either based on his looks/attitude/charisma/sexy butt/whatever personally catches your attention in a man…and make you skip a heartbeat sometimes when he smiles at you?
So, is the first guy someone you have a platonic friendship with, and the second someone whom you would want to have a relationship with? Or is the first someone you would want to have a relationship with, and the second merely eye-candy, someone you lust over but that’s about it?
Well, I have rambled about this before to my gal friends, guy friends, ex girlfriends, and old uncle with lots of Chinese Imported Girlfriends, and came to some conclusions that some people are better off as friends and some as lovers. Guys, especially those who are still a blur sotong, TAKE NOTE!
I also feel that, most guys I know fell into these 4 categories…
1. Those who are friends and evolved into relationship because you suddenly cared and love them more than ever, and you cant stop the feeling as it comes naturally for both of you.
2. Those who are casual friends and immediately felt an attraction/feeling with each other. You know, sparks fly, fireworks in the air…those things la
3. Those who just met, but immediately felt a connection between the two. Example, both have same interest, same opinion, and then in an hour or two, starts talking about their life and opinions.
4. Those who just met, but felt a connection later on…this one…normal la.. hehe
Its also one of the things that i find it dumbstruck too. There are quite a number of reasons out there (if you analyse it logically and not emotionally) and characteristics which some deem more suitable for platonic friendship and some for relationship/lust/flings/affairs.
What’s strange is, when u see a set of factors/characteristic working as the base of attraction for someone they like, but it does not become the base for another person (same girl playing the tricks and strategies on a different guy)
When there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry. U can't fake a spark or make it happen. You can’t force yourself to be in the same wavelength as her. There's not enough information about the second guy to make a comparison, however the second guy definitely has higher chances as sexual attraction is very important. If you are not attracted to someone, no matter how nice he is, it just won't happen. Guys, you can actually pack up and leave if she say she cant imagine having a relationship with you. But…to some sesat/blur sotong/indecisive/dunno who to choose gals, it doesn't mean he just packs up and goes, the gal will give it some time and see how first… to see if she really can see a future with him or not. BUT, if really cannot, really cannot lor..what to do..too bad so sad...hahahhahahaha… LOL…guys, this will be a very testing time for you. Then, it is up to you whether to continue pursuing her, or really pack up, leave and never come back (most important. DO NOT GO BACK TO WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN HURT BEFORE)
Tough eh to understand women? Hehe…
Well, basically there are several things required to 'connect' with a person in a special way, right? Personally, I think these are the three for me:
1. Mental connection. Understanding her completely and having basically the same mindsets and thinking along the same 'wavelength', accepting each other as we are without pretense, sharing our deepest darkest thoughts, etc… well the least I need from her is an unbreakable connection of same wavelengths and non-stop communication without thinking for a second, what should I talk about next? It should be freehand which we are able to talk about anything under the sun.
2. Emotional dependence aka romance/commitment. That feeling of happiness whenever you're with her (NOT sexual related), waiting for her calls or SMS, keeping and re-reading her messages over and over, thinking of her damn fucking lot that it almost takes most of your day dreaming time, willing to sacrifice to help her or make her happy, to happily help her out and give her a hand when she’s stuck with her work/assignments/studies. And…to become the so called pizza delivery boy if she’s hungry and got the urge to eat this la that la…or go buy some of her favourite cookies or snacks.
3. Sexual attraction aka lust. Well.. no need to describe that lah. But there’s another one argument. Some will think that in order to be serious in a relationship, I got friends who says that if you really like her, sex should not be in one of your imaginations. In fact, I got a friend who says that sex is the least in his mind when he’s going after a particular gal. YES, TRUE, I agree. But…don’t you think that if you say so, it will become just a platonic friend and wont go more than that remember? ( READ MY FIRST PARAGRAPH! ) Dumb ass… LOL…
I’m cruel especially to the fellas who whine to me about relationships. So to all who are still single, and being pursued or pursuing someone you like, think about it. i personally partly agree with this statement which is quite true, but the fact remains that sometimes the love is pure, you wont imagine sex as one of the factors, but the sad fact remains that there is a very thin line bordering love and lust. if you think about imagining how sex will shoot through the roof and over the moon with the other half, it's lust. If you never think that sex will play an important role in your relationship, and sometimes you think having sex with your other half goes with happy times, then it's somewhat true love lor. but if you can never imagine having sex with her no matter what, and the thought of it sickens you, sorry lah...51% of the chances are that you will never hit it off with her. BUT, why i say 51% only?
The reason is that i have known quite a number of friends that has been emotionally hurt by their ex boyfriends. The thought of sex really sickens her especially when she thinks about how her ex treated her. Even if she has a new relationship, the past continues to haunt her. Yes, he's amazing and much better than the bastard but she will back off on the intimacy because of the bad past and she will need time to heal her broken confidence. I do agree sex plays a part of the relationship, but then i have exes who practises abstinence before marriage. That's cool with me...there's other ways. =)
So to all who are pursuing someone whether a gal or a boy or same sex, remember this. If you really cant imagine being intimate (i think this is the best phrase to describe it) with the person who is pursuing you, back off and be frank with them. If you are unsure, simple. Write down in a piece of paper, the name of the person who first came into your mind when:
you need help on your work
you want to go out with on a date for any events
you want to tell your happy or sad moments
you're angry and want to vent out on someone
when you wake up
before you sleep
when you see something nice on the telly, shopping complex, whatever nice and you want to share with a person...
Hehe..i guess that's all for now. Until the next time, best wishes to your family, your health and your life. =)
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